Slow down & listen
Two days later and I’ve
recovered from the horrors of running. I keep replaying the night over
and over again, the sheer terror I felt when the nice running teacher
“D” said “now run”. I didn’t take time to enjoy any of it, I couldn’t’
catch my breath after the first minute of running and the two minutes of
walking didn’t help. It was panic that started to get to me.
But
there was one interval on the way back that stands out. Besides the
wet toes, the demented headlamp digging into my head, I remember “D”
quietly but with authority saying “control your breath, dig your heel
into the ground and let it pull you forward”. And for a few seconds I
could do that, I’d plant my heel and make it drag my body along and I
slowed down the desperate gulps for air. It lasted for a minute and
then I went back to panicking and telling myself I couldn’t possibly do
this.
The entire 20 minutes,
“D” talked to me. Told me her story, about her wonderful husband and
children, how she had started back up running. I was desperate to stop
but I didn’t want to interrupt her, I wanted to hear more. And because I
couldn’t talk, I was forced to listen. And “D” managed to fill every
fear filled moment with her story and it saved me from rolling into a
ball and hiding.
The next day I got up at 7am
and walked the 30 minutes to a meeting, walked back and started to feel a
tiny bit of energy. “D” said we should try and get 2 more runs in this
week and in about a half an hour, Little Bloom and I will go for a run.
And
I will stop talking myself out of it and I will slow down when I need
to and I will listen, Because sometimes the wisdom we so desperately
need comes in the quietest of whispers and if we are so busy talking in
our heads, we’re going to miss it.
Best part of today's run? It's still light out and I have no need for the demented headlamp.
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Caron is one of the blooms of Two Blooms Design Studio Est. 2002. She is the dreamer, production manager, self taught chef and the social media wannabe. Caron is married to the word adventure and she will never stop dreaming.
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